In a new move of great progress and innovative marketing, the coronavirus task force revealed in a briefing last Sunday that they have a new mascot, Fauci Bear. Like many mascots, Fauci Bear is mute....

Five people were given SAFE and several thousand counterfeit PRIDE Bucks were seized in a raid by school administration last Thursday. There were no fatalities. We at the Sinecure interviewed one of...

Over the last couple of years, Dunbar has been plagued by a recurring problem. Students, towards the end of class, move from their seats and towards the door, eventually forming hordes and sometimes even...

Here at The Sinecure we would like to congratulate PLDRealNews for winning the Pulitzer Prize for their impeachment coverage. Secretly, by publishing this story, we are hoping to "Streisand Effect" @pldrealnews...

The game was set for a thrilling matchup. The sold-out crowd was filing in nicely and they were going crazy. Kentucky set up to kickoff and the speakers echoed those infamous words, “It’s football...

Now that finals are over and you have finally taken the most important test in every class (or the retake on the one test bringing your grade down) summer break is here. In the words of the Phineas and...

Have you ever run into one of Dunbar’s many poles? Don’t feel so lonely, a new poll suggests that this practice is prolific, especially among freshmen. The poll, taken by the People that Plan Poles...

As the 2018-2019 school year winds to a close, students were informed that they would be missing out on a special kind of intimacy next year. It was announced on Monday that, tragically, everyone’s...

In an article posted on lexingtonky.gov, the City of Lexington will temporarily suspend paper recycling. Figures provided by the city, as referenced in this Herald-Leader article, show a nearly $500,000...

Here are five tips on how to get one of those All-Distinguished medals that you haven't seen since you last looked at the trophy case your parents set up for you. 1. Start Studying Early To get a Distinguished...

After a tense race at a rainy Churchill Downs, Maximum Security jockey Luis Saez thought that he had just won his first Kentucky Derby. But that didn't last long. In a stunning turn of events, the first...