Pulitzer Prize Winners @PLDRealNews Provide Only Real Factual Genuine Real Verified Actual Real Confirmed True Real News

The Sinecure is convinced that PLDRealNews is doing what we at the Sinecure do: referring to themselves as “we” when it’s actually just one person

Here at The Sinecure we would like to congratulate PLDRealNews for winning the Pulitzer Prize for their impeachment coverage. Secretly, by publishing this story, we are hoping to “Streisand Effect” @pldrealnews because PLD Lamplighter is obviously fake news 😉

Pullquote Photo

At PLDRealNews we try to stay unbiased as possible so that way people feel comfortable on this page.

— @pldrealnews

Here is what makes PLDRealNews the best journalism out there:

PLDRealNews is truly as real as the name might suggest. With an authenticity that is proven by the iPhone notes app publishing, they truly deliver frontline coverage of day-to-day news. This format paints a grueling image of a fearless reporter using whatever resources available to get Dunbar students the stories they need. With media giants like CNN and Fox seemingly controlling the 24-hour news cycle, it is a breath of fresh air to have authentic journalism. Not only does their reporting cover pop culture topics like the TIME Person of the Year and Baby Yoda, but the unbiased coverage of U.S. politics is also crucial to Dunbar’s understanding of how events in Washington play out.

It is about time that PLD Lamplighter has a competitor.

The organization’s introductory post lays out a vision that will shape the news coverage of the new decade. While the organization “frowns upon” safe spaces, it simultaneously creates a safe space free of “racism, sexism, etc” (whatever etcetera may entail). Along with the best-designed logo Microsoft Paint can provide, their mission is to deliver REAL relevant and political information.

On the other hand, we at the Sinecure are terrified. We did not expect someone to create a new PLD satirical organization and we aren’t ready for the competition.

The Pulitzer committee notes that PLDRealNews is the start of a new type of news organization–one that can be completely satirical while also being unbiased. For example, the motto of PLDRealNews is “We Give The Facts,” however, some posts are blatant opinions. When news of Donald Trump’s impeachment was released, PLDRealNews released a statement with the background of the glorious iPhone Notes app in dark mode. The news titled “This Just In” reads “Maybe the Democrats will realize this impeachment is a big mistake for them.” This statement is every form of irony.

Verbal Irony

Clearly this message is sarcastic and poking fun at biased media outlets because, as we all know, PLDRealNews is completely impartial.

The “share your thoughts” invitation on PLDRealNews is also ironic. It is also ironic because it suggests that literally anybody cares about your opinion, or that intellectual debate is plausible on Instagram. PLD Lamplighter’s website has comments just like Instagram and the comments section on articles has seen its share of spectacular verbiage such as “libtards.”

courtesy of PLD Lamplighter
This comment was posted by “Willis” on Nov. 8. It is in reference to an op-ed by two students who decided not to attend the Trump Rally on Nov. 4.

In its most recent post, it says “there is also a chance that President Trump will take this to the Supreme Court,” which is a subtle satirical statement, making fun of readers that don’t understand how impeachment works. It is also a blow to Trump, who they cite as their source, which makes him seem like he doesn’t understand impeachment. This causes us at the Sinecure to believe that PLDRealNews might actually have some liberal bias.

Situational Irony

PLDRealNews frequently does the opposite of what you expect from an unbiased news source. Yesterday, in the comments of a post about the impeachment, @pldrealnews stated: “As a personal opinion, I believe the House will vote to impeach President Donald Trump, and then the Senate will exonerate him, but that’s only a guess, only time will tell what happens.” This is ironic because you don’t expect an unbiased journal to reply with “as a personal opinion,” especially when the personal opinion is easy to prove with simple logic: the vote is split into party lines, the Senate has more Republicans, Trump is a Republican, therefore the Senate will vote in his favor.

As for the “Democrat mistake” quote, you don’t expect such an opinionated statement from the PLDRealNews account. It really keeps us on our toes and paying attention.

Dramatic Irony

The “Democrat mistake” quote is also a textbook example of dramatic irony because PLDRealNews can see something that the “characters” (Congresspeople) can’t see coming. That the Democrats are making a big mistake, but they don’t know it. Only PLDRealNews knows, and therefore you, the reader. It’s exhilarating.

We at the Sinecure are shaking in our boots about PLDRealNews’s Instagram account.  It truly is a shame that PLDRealNews isn’t actually associated with PLD and isn’t part of the Media Arts CTE pathway at Dunbar. Perhaps one day, PLDRealNews will rise above the name tragedy that befell the Dunbar Pee Club and becomes sanctioned by the school. They’re obviously needed here. After all, we at the Sinecure do not have the skill to create a singular post that contains the hashtags #dunbarhighschool, #northkorea, #babyyoda, and #democraticdebate. Only PLDRealNews can do that.

To quote @pldrealnews, “does any of this surprise you? Let us know what you think in the comments!”