Lamplighter Media Productions

The Persistence of Memory, a famous 1931 painting by Salvador Dalí, is a pretty good representation of how your summer will go.

How To Waste Your Summer

June 4, 2019

Now that finals are over and you have finally taken the most important test in every class (or the retake on the one test bringing your grade down) summer break is here. In the words of the Phineas and Ferb theme song, “the annual problem for our generation is finding a good way to spend it.” Don’t worry, we at the Sinecure have your back. Here are the best ways you can waste your summer. YouTube The easiest ...

An MS Paint representation of the math hallway mullion.

New Poll Shows Higher Pole Collisions Than Previously Thought

May 31, 2019

Have you ever run into one of Dunbar’s many poles? Don’t feel so lonely, a new poll suggests that this practice is prolific, especially among freshmen. The poll, taken by the People that Plan Poles (PPP), gives proof that pole-pinging is a perpetual event. This, of course, bodes well for all of the freshmen that have run into the pole in the door between the downstairs hallway and the math...

A proper MS Paint representation of the tragic end to the hallway couple.

Hallway Couple Cancelled Next Year

May 31, 2019

As the 2018-2019 school year winds to a close, students were informed that they would be missing out on a special kind of intimacy next year. It was announced on Monday that, tragically, everyone’s favorite hallway couple won’t be around for the 2019-2020 school year. A regular of the route, Sophomore Will Skovesdale said, “I’m going to miss the everyday PDA.” And it looks like a...