For Dummies: Shaving

Every week, staff reporter Kasey Sprague will write a “for dummies” column explaining everyday activities


Sydney Carter

Lamplighter staff flaunting their smooth sailing legs.

Ahh… the dreaded time of the week when you have to shave your legs… if you are anything like me, this simple task turns into a scene from Jaws. While I am no expert, I am here to give a few tips on how to keep your shower bloodless, and to give you that smooth sailing feeling on your sea legs.

Tip 1: Make sure your legs are fully soaked in water. If there is the slightest patch of dry skin-you ain’t gon have that silky smooth feelin’.

Tip 2: Use a shaving cream that smells girly. If you use one of lesser quality, you will have poorly shaved legs and a manly feeling instead of the girly lightness.

Tip 3: GO WITH THE GRAIN. This means to go vertically up and down rather than across. If you end up shaving horizontally, YOU WILL GET INGROWN HAIRS, which makes it uncomfy.

Tip 3: Make sure you have reached every area. If you don’t double check your work, you won’t realize that you left a patch of hair behind, and if you don’t realize you left a patch of hair behind, you won’t get any dates, therefore making you single 5ever.

Now for dudes, it is a different story. While I am no dude, and have no beard, I have a pretty good idea to for shaving those no-shave-november beards you been trying to grow, or if you aren’t to the manhood stage yet, that stubble.

For the beardies:

Tip 1: Trim dat stuff!!

Tip 2: To keep the hipster man style, purchase a beard trimmer and trim those edges!! ( you wanna look as good as Drake’s edges if ya know what I mean…)

Tip 3: Look in the mirror and say, “Dang, I look good.”

For the stubbies:

Tip 1: Find a manly smelling shaving cream.

Tip 2: Fully soak the stubbles in water and spread that manly stuff on those nasty hairs!

Tip 3: Shave those things while goin’ with the grain. For the men, this means going down the face and towards your adam’s apple.

Tip 4: After finishing, post a pic on the ‘gram and wait for the ladies to line up.

Now, you can enter the real world with smooth sailing and ease. Those clean cut legs are sure to make you quite the catch, and reel in the fellas.

And to those hairy boyz, use them shaving toyz!