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What is pain to you? Is it the numbness that reaches you inside and feeds off emotion? Or a sensitive area that’s been bruised or maybe an open wound or a burn that’s agonizing?
Whatever it may be, I believe that all pain subsides because it’s a temporary feeling. When I was younger I was told that “pain is temporary it may last a minute or an hour or a day but eventually, it fades away.”
Life is full of ups and downs; it’s a part of living, and it happens to everyone. That’s why I believe this is true.
It has been over two years since my closest grandfather passed away due to bone marrow cancer.
When I first woke up for school it was an average Monday morning. I got ready and ran into the kitchen. My mom was on the phone, and I ran up to her and gave her a hug. I was joyful and full of excitement, but then she turned to me with a heavy look.
She was holding back just enough to tell me “Your grandfather passed.”
The quiver in her voice became louder and then she broke down in tears. Hearing the news made my heart stand still, and it made me feel weak. I was in disbelief. I told myself this can’t be true as the flood of tears came.
Something important was taken away from me that day. I was angry and upset and there was no one to be mad at–no one to blame.
My grandfather and I had always been very close and he taught me life lessons. He became a father figure to me, and he helped me build my character. At the time, it was devastating to know he was no longer with us. I missed him, I still do, but I had to understand that he is now in a better place and at rest.
But we all had to move on because death is a part of life. That realization is when my pain and grieving was relieved.
I have recently come face to face again with tragedy. My grandmother has Alzheimer’s. On a recent visit, I looked into her eyes and held her cold hand as I told her my name. She looked at me with a blank face. It was like she was gone and the only thing left was the breathing body.
My mom held her tight and kissed her forehead. The room filled with sorrow because she had forgotten all of us.
During the car ride, I cried all the way home and I didn’t say a word. I felt pain and tension in my head. Why I didn’t visit her more? Why I didn’t tell her I loved her more often?
Seeing her made me realize that I could never go back to a time when I would go to visit, attend Bible school, and go to the waterpark. I was young then, so I wasn’t able to understand that every second was very precious.
My grandmother is another important person in my life that I have lost. But I had to understand that some things are out of my control, and the only way to deal with it is just accepting it. No matter how it hurts that’s the only way to get through the hard times.
Today, I’m happy. I tell myself that time heals, and it does. I keep moving forward.
What I’ve learned as I’ve grown up is that life has its down moments. You have to decide how you let it affects you both mentally and physically.
Just know that it never lasts forever.