Lamplighter Media Productions

UK Football Reminds Us Why We Only Watch UK Basketball

UK Football Reminds Us Why We Only Watch UK Basketball

September 25, 2019

The game was set for a thrilling matchup. The sold-out crowd was filing in nicely and they were going crazy. Kentucky set up to kickoff and the speakers echoed those infamous words, “It’s football time in the Bluegrass!” On their first drive, Florida was moving the ball well, but their drive was stopped short when #13 Feleipe Franks threw a pick to #23 Tyrell Ajian and he took it 22 yards...

How To Waste Your Summer

How To Waste Your Summer

June 4, 2019

Now that finals are over and you have finally taken the most important test in every class (or the retake on the one test bringing your grade down) summer break is here. In the words of the Phineas and Ferb theme song, “the annual problem for our generation is finding a good way to spend it.” Don’t worry, we at the Sinecure have your back. Here are the best ways you can waste your summer. YouTube The easiest ...

New Poll Shows Higher Pole Collisions Than Previously Thought

New Poll Shows Higher Pole Collisions Than Previously Thought

May 31, 2019

Have you ever run into one of Dunbar’s many poles? Don’t feel so lonely, a new poll suggests that this practice is prolific, especially among freshmen. The poll, taken by the People that Plan Poles (PPP), gives proof that pole-pinging is a perpetual event. This, of course, bodes well for all of the freshmen that have run into the pole in the door between the downstairs hallway and the math...

Hallway Couple Cancelled Next Year

Hallway Couple Cancelled Next Year

May 31, 2019

As the 2018-2019 school year winds to a close, students were informed that they would be missing out on a special kind of intimacy next year. It was announced on Monday that, tragically, everyone’s favorite hallway couple won’t be around for the 2019-2020 school year. A regular of the route, Sophomore Will Skovesdale said, “I’m going to miss the everyday PDA.” And it looks like a...

The Sinecure Guide to K-PREP

The Sinecure Guide to K-PREP

May 17, 2019

Here are five tips on how to get one of those All-Distinguished medals that you haven't seen since you last looked at the trophy case your parents set up for you. 1. Start Studying Early To get a Distinguished on the K-PREP Science and On-Demand sections, you will have to start studying early. There aren’t any K-PREP practice exams, but you can find the standards online. The Science test cov...